You can imagine the scene in a sitcom, someone yells for a doctor, and a person replies, well yes, I have a doctoral degree in (name obscure subject here), and cannot really help the situation because what they need is a medical doctor. Well yesterday (now over a month ago), I realized that sometimes the doctoral candidate in primatology is the closest thing to a real doctor within 50 miles and therefore might really be able to help. I was sitting at my makeshift office, working on the placement of my vegetative plots, when there was a distinct noise outside. My host dad/ assistant and I rushed outside and saw there was a motorcycle crash down the way. He told me to wait in the house and went running down the street. Still trying to figure out my role in this society (being an educated female western scientists) in a poor Muslim town, I realized I should listen to him. However, after looking down the street and realizing that people are still milling around the accident scene, I realized that I am probably the most qualified to help. I mean, I have read “Where There Is No Doctor” about a hundred times, taken First Aid and CPR sometime in the past, and have watched enough ER and Grey’s Anatomy to have at least 5% of a medical degree… all of which I have figured the local towns people have not done. So I grabbed my “Wilderness First Aid Kit” (which by the way, I got on super sale at Steep and Cheap) and went running down the road. As soon as I got to the scene, I busted out my plastic gloves and went to work. Relatively speaking, it was a bit disappointing… there were a few cases of road rash (nothing bigger than an inch squared) and a potential sprained wrist…. I didn’t even get to use my butterfly closures. Basically, I cleaned the wounds, put antibiotic ointment on them, and bandaged them up. However, since I was bored, and wanted to demonstrate my expertise, I figured I should address the potential broken wrist. Although I have a really nice ace bandage, I figured I might need that someday, so I made this awesome cast like contraption with a pencil and athletic tape. Both kids (the victims couldn’t have been more than 18 years old) seemed pretty shocked, I think it was less from the accident and more from the crazy white lady with frizzy hair who kept putting more and more creams and ointments on their wounds. Oh first aid and simple medical help, just one of the many services your local primatologist provides.
